Through a recent conversation with a friend, I realized for many, this time could be difficult not just with the stress of the virus or the world but also looking within ourselves. Working on myself is a path I deliberately committed to back in 2016. I was driven to find my purpose in life, to explore my spiritual callings, and to actualize my potential. I have been on this path for four years learning and exploring my inner self, my outer self, my higher self. For many, this is not a personal passion or even a comfortable subject to discuss. Some have been there before but are now distant. Some are working on it. Others do not even want to discuss it.
I believe, as many others do, this time is a divine purposeful gift to all of humanity. The year 2020 is literally written in the stars or astrology that is 😊. This is the year for humanity to begin to awaken if they have not. Thus, the forced journey inward during this chaotic year with most of it being spent at home … for everyone. For many this means shadow work and possibly facing their dark night of the soul on top of whatever else each is facing in their life at this time.
I feel I went through my dark night of the soul between 2009 to 2014. During that time, several things came crashing down on me. Pretty much every area of my life bottomed out: home life, married life, work life, family life, financial life. Most of those days it was a struggle to get out of bed, take care of the kids, and try to keep it together. At the time I worked as a church administrator, so I renewed my faith in church and clung to the scriptures getting me through the difficult times. I was not comfortable sharing my struggles with family or friends, so it was also a very lonely time for me with me wondering many times should I go on. My two boys were the reason I kept getting up in the morning.
I made it through those dark times with help. I renewed my prayer life and started actively reading the daily scriptures. I broke down in my doctor’s office leading her to give me the name of a good therapist and putting me on Prozac to help me with the stress of processing my life. I took the Prozac and called the therapist. With time, prayer, and my therapist, I was able to begin putting my life back together. By 2015, I was able to stop the Prozac along with my therapist. The smartest thing I did was get myself some help. We all need help sometimes. We are human. It is okay to ask for help in your life.
Through my dark night of the soul I felt like I was being finely tempered like a metal blade in the fire. I learned firsthand about temperance, judgement, patience, and prudence in my life. I am very conscious of my choices and decisions in my life now. I am very cautious about the things I might wish for because I learned firsthand the grass is not always greener and you might just get what you wished for along with all of its trappings. I have a broader perspective on life now. I have learned not to let what is happening in the “now” define me. Five years of despair in a life of eighty plus years is not much at all when you think about it. I am who I am today because of all I went through and for that I am eternally grateful.
When I think about this time in my life, I think of the song Gracefully Broken by Matt Redman. It is beautiful and a great reminder that we are all human and all broken.
Fast forward to 2020, four years of intentionally living as co-creator of my life I am happier than ever. My life has truly transformed because I learned to understand the me – we relationship with spirit or divine source. I learned to love myself. I learned to talk to my inner child. I am intentionally co-creating with my higher self. However, these transformations did not just come to me. I had to do the work, the education, and the practice. As I have said before, if only our education system was designed to truly teach us about our humanness, the physical world, and the non-physical world, we would be so much farther ahead in our lives. Maybe one day I can make a difference in this area. I would love to create a “life” class for all four years of high school.
While we are here in physical form in a physical reality, we are still directly connected to the non-physical realm. Our task is to remember this and to learn to partner with the non-physical to live a fully actualized human experience. We each have a soul, an inner knowing, a higher self that is a part of our being. We each have an angel team and spirit guides assigned to assist us through this human life. These are all available for us – if we but merely only ask for their assistance. Remember, you are love, you are light, you are spirit incarnate!
As we move into the winter here in the states, I am noticing the seasons much more since moving to the country. Each season has its purpose. Fall is winding down here. The fields are brown, raked clean from the harvest. The days are getting shorter with more darkness than light now. Winter is coming. Winter is the time for rest, renewal, rejuvenation, and hibernation. Mother nature is purposeful in it being cold and dark for us to retreat inside. As winter, comes to a close, the days will get longer with more light as we come out to begin anew. We plant in the spring our new life. The tractors roll in the fields planting the corn. Next comes Summer when the corn grows fast and tall, strong, and plentiful. We enjoy the long days of light playing in the sunshine. Soon enough Fall will come back around for us to harvest the seeds we planted in the spring, to take stock of our bounty, and to prepare for our winter’s retreat.
This yearly cycle of the seasons closely resembles our cycles through life. During the dark times, remember to look for the blessing in any burden. Give thanks throughout all of life, not for just the joyous occasions. Give thanks for the often overlooked but gifts none the less such as clean water, hot water, blooming flowers, buzzing bees, and a child’s laughter. When I wake up now, I give thanks for the beautiful new day, my bed, my blankets, and I keep looking around and giving thanks for all I see. It really will set the tone for the day – a miraculous day!
So, if you have not already, I encourage you to do the work to go within, to reconnect with your spirit. Now is the time. Now is the gift. As you stay at home and hibernate through the winter, take the time to renew your spirit. No one can do it for you. Each of us must walk our own path to find our own truth in our own time. You will find greater happiness along the way. When we live with purpose, we become fulfilled, in essence, our cup over floweth to shine our light for others. My journey is chronicled in this blog to share with others in the hopes we all return to the awareness of all that we are – one with each other, one in divine source, God.
Another wonderful song for us to end on: You Are Love by Laura Story.